I’m leaving brilliance for another day. I’ve had enough of it. The reality or striving for it. For as long as I can remember I’ve pushed myself to do the best I can, well mostly, in everything I do. But do you know what, it’s exhausting, so I’m giving the striving a rest…just for a little bit.
Three months ago*, my maternity leave ended and I headed back to work. And, it’s been fine. Really, it has. I’m happy to be back at work. Sneaky secret, I missed it. But, fine isn’t good enough. The truth is I’ve been feeling stretched and it’s taking its toll. Trying to do it all, not so great for your health or happiness it seems.
Last week, I hit a low…everything was FINE but I wasn’t exercising, had very little appetite and felt a bit overwhelmed. It was all a bit catch-22. I was grand, I really was, but left a bit longer, I wouldn’t have been grand at all. Enter…The Book! I’d seen the cover floating around Instagram for a while and it was on my radar but when P landed home with a copy as a gift, I was thrilled and got stuck in. What’s this book you ask? ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F@*k.’ It’s so fricking good. Just a few pages in, I was giggling and shaken out of the emotional rut I was falling into. I was also reminded of intention three from my 2016 list. I took action, exercise came back and with the endorphins released, so did my appetite. Holding it all together is a work in progress, but try each day, I will.
Our little baby bear turns one next week and she is so much fun. We dance in the morning, blow raspberries, read books (take all of the books out of the bookcase and rip pages at random), giggle at nothing and generally marvel at life. So, chez nous, we’re saying ‘f@*k it’ and being very careful about where and who we give our f@*ks to.
*By the time I got around to final edits of this post another month had passed, so I’m now almost four months back to reality, but in the spirit of this piece and because I have no f@*ks budgeted to the tardiness of blog posts, one month late it is. I have a one year old, a husband and a job. Life is good, great in fact, but it’s bloody busy.